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Journal Entries

by Unbound Joy

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1.
Zorn 01:37
so it begins with my feelings im all alone downing the gin i miss my friend it never ends he was the man fuck my cravings a hazy night im on the floor was hittin dabs i want some more she want some more got none to give “you piece of shit” guess im a whore digital realization of analog feelings im tryna break through my ceilings not tryna fuck with your feelings it means nothing it means nothing at all
2.
never looked out of your window but im trying to see all the thing that make your heart beat whats been in front of me i can taste the death of a dream that remembers me passion is naive it seems
3.
Paprika 01:52
i've got my anger your world is happy and mundane you've got your anger you live a lie, you're all the same i fear no anger i fear no pain bitch i've got my anger no more lies no more reasons left to hide you're asleep on standby watching all these people die you've got your anger i know your anger
4.
4:40 in the morning and im walking to your door high on mxe my demons melting to the floor overwhelmed i found you knocking, coming with the truth then i tell you that i love you and i know you love me too 4:40 in the morning walking to your door high on mxe demons melting to the floor 4:40 in the morning knocking on your door won't you tell me that you love me baby please i know you're bored i was never smart can't make digestible art don't have a heart i'm alone every night i fall apart dripping in scars embarrassed of my mental state cause i'm unbound with the hate you can tell me that you love me but i'll know that it's fake
5.
public school boy askin for a hug homophobe in the halls locker room he got the chub he wants to be a thug he's doin baby drugs his daddy shows no love yeah he's thinkin he's the plug public school boy bowin to the king he wants to fuckin rap but he's too afraid to sing he bought his girl a ring he's thinkin she's the thing but at night she's blowin up his buddies phones like ding
6.
Arie$ 01:57
unbound why you tripping, i just don’t know why” when you say you fuckin love me but i've never seen you try i've got 1% support feeling like jill stein bitch id rather be poor than live a god damn lie yeah you slave over your music it's still trash compared to mine you say that you love this shit but you don’t know why catch you looking at my girl choke you with a hair tie i could fuckin sing this out but i just don’t see why just because its simple doesn’t mean its fuckin bad i'm not over-saturated complex trash you wish you had i could sing a bach motet but that “aint cool man, shit aint rad” you don’t know a thing about me and honestly i'm glad
7.
Pressure 02:12
wrong place, wrong time i've got so much in my mind wanna tell you that i love you but the stars just won’t align the pressure of your lips against my heart on my sleeve take a moment, close my eyes feelin like its all i need want you here in my life i want you with me tonight forget it all, flick the lights get close make you feel all right a forest full of dreams fluid skies bind the seams that separates us from the fear sorrow, hatred, and greed i know you don’t feel right i know just you wanna fight but look me in the eyes, girl you know it just feels right you know it just feels right can't find the right things to say to you i just love you i just need you
8.
i wanna see you cry so we know that were not alone it can be just be me and you no one else would have to know i know that you’re afraid feels like you have to lie this is partially projection cause i feel can so alone inside don’t wanna care if i impress you even though i guess i do im reaching out to you with nothing but the truth i'm just trying to be happy, maybe bring some joy to you often feel like i never do i'm writing from the heart i cry to all my shit alone then pick it all apart i'm being myself wish i was anything else
9.
to put things straight you know i loved you couldn't find myself i know i hurt you i’ve tried to hold on but like sand it flows right through the cracks of my hands the child in me cries he’s tired of the lies the child in me cries were both afraid to die was it ever really there? was it all just a lie? i know i’m nothing but normal but you all knew that inside
10.
silver blonde hair laugh without care your hands so small heart filled with despair i just can’t cope sullen warm spring nights a lament for hope some further insight crooked front tooth yeah i miss you rose colored glasses i wish you knew walk by your window in my head chasing nothing our love is dead or so i think i couldn’t know wont eat won’t drink i better go
11.
Talk2much 02:01
i can’t keep myself on hold always been more than about a girl if you’ve ever shown me love i wish you fortune within your world and knowledge in your dreams wish i could give you just what you need i know at a glance it seems that i am nothing but let me dream just let me dream i know it seems i am nothing but let me dream i just wanna spread some heart yeah don’t wanna talk too much so many beautiful people that you just can’t trust i'm not worried bout my name i'm just praying for the rain in my dreams to fade away i just wish we were the same
12.
Mozart Notes 02:03
young van gogh with the flow though pastel synth in the blunt smoke mozart notes through my throat yeah, fuckin with the wolves steady losing all hope see me walking through the night feelin all alone tryna make things right, in my head, cause its dark, can’t speak, so i write searching for some peace, always reaching for the light i know what i look like dumb, trash, and i can’t do right middle school, studded belt, couldn't put up a fight skinny pants didn’t help called faggot on sight head down to the ground used to hate daylight found myself, everything in sight i am nothing but a face but life seems so bright i am just another soul, maybe not your type
13.
Love Letters 02:06
teenage love letters man what a spark we were fourteen that shit was dark i played my part the best i could i wasn’t shit and i wasn’t good i know that its weird to tell the world i miss you but they don’t know me, no not you like do i know you still do you know what we had i know you still do you showed me what love is and when that fell apart the child in me went and ripped away his heart i had to go we disappeared i didn’t know how to handle the fear, manipulation, and aggravation dishonesty, lack of jubilation. we were just kids and i forgive myself and i forgive you too i wonder how you felt
14.
To You 01:48
i don’t see shadows in my room, cause i'm not a fucking bitch i don’t care about your thoughts nearly bout to fucking quit i don’t need to say shit got nothing left to lose want you here with me tonight i've been feelin nothing new i've been feelin nothing new, girl been feeling nothing new i want stars to come crash down so i can be with you, just us, unbound can’t be your pretty girl can’t bring myself to lie done way too much shit that i just can’t hide i just can’t hide
15.
i need to feel alive been feeling dead inside don't have a thing to lose i've got nothing to hide can't stop feeling remote just don't care to emote guess this is nothing new i hate that i need you not thinking bout love my skins under the rug i hate thinking of you can't help it, it's the truth things changed when i flicked the lights on i'm not sorry now i know ive been gone ive got aggression im not perfect fuck your depression you’re not worth it im not worth it you think its harsh set yourself free i create that spark just want your heart don’t care if its bad your shallow personality is just a fad

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released December 1, 2018

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